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Jessica Kantrowitz

writer | editor

Twenty ways to say, “I love you” to someone who is depressed

Posted on October 13, 2018July 15, 2019 by Jessica Kantrowitz

If you haven’t experienced depression yourself, it can be difficult to understand what your loved one is going through. Your… Read more Twenty ways to say, “I love you” to someone who is depressed

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Thirteen years ago I graduated from seminary, moved into an intentional Christian community, got a job with a Christian parachurch organization, and took a part time job as a nanny to tide me over till the ministry job became full time. Today I no longer live in that community and I left the ministry job long ago, but the little blond baby I carried on my chest is still a part of my life, along with his parents and little brother. Yesterday was his 13th birthday! Grateful and proud.
@laurajeantruman is an amazing writer, theologian, and person. I’m so grateful for her and her words. I thought some of you might also need them today. Posted @withrepost • @laurajeantruman #Oncegay. Still queer. 🙌🏻🏳️‍🌈✨Lord Jesus I wasted so many aching days praying for God to fix something that was never broken. Lord Jesus save this next generation of queer kids from that heartbreak. 🌈 There are so many things that break my heart about reparative therapy and the push for “mixed orientation marriages” (convincing gay folks to marry straight folks) - but the one that breaks my heart the most is that it is such a huge and heartbreaking waste of energy. Sacred, holy energy that God has given us to love our neighbor, heal the world, fight sin in our lives, live generously and kindly, loving mercy and doing justice and walking humbly. When we focus all this laser energy into being “less gay,” our souls crumple up into paranoid self-focus, self-hatred, obsessive sin-hunting in ourselves. We have so much to give the world, so many gifts and joys and SELF to offer! When these corrupt churches like Bethel convince these beautiful queer kids to hate themselves into “straightness”, we lose a whole generation of Gospel workers and light bringers and justice fighters. We need you too much, you lovely gorgeous creative souls. We need you so badly, just as you are! // And if you are one of those folks who is struggling and wonderful and longing to find a way to love Jesus and Scripture and be queer but is scared of the “slippery slope” - I’ve been there, we’ve all been there. Check out @emmykegler’s wonderful site, queergrace.com, for resources, books, and articles about how to be #faithfullyLGBT. This is a long journey but you don’t have to it alone. You are Beloved. You are made just exactly right. #gaychristian #queerchristian #progressivechristian #changedmovement #progressivechristian #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #queer #lesbian #bisexual #exgay #exgays #jesus #god #christian #faith #prayer #hope #prayer #worship #scripture #freedominchrist #jesuschrist
The three year old is really into car carriers but he doesn’t have one so he attached a railroad bridge to his flatbed truck with rubber bands. I am so impressed!!
I’ve been thinking about love languages lately, the specific five posited by Gary Chapman and just in general how we show each other love and feel that love, and how often we miss each other. I just spent the week in the Pacific Northwest visiting various friends and family whom I love, and I felt well-loved by all of them, but in different ways from each. Some used words, some physical affection, some quiet smiles. Others shared their stories and invited me into them. I lost my license on the way to the airport (long story) and couldn’t pick up my rental car, and my cousin and another friend took hours out of their day to take me where I needed to go. Many said the words, “I love you,” but some did not. It occurred to me that if I only went by those words I wouldn’t feel the many other forms of love being offered. Or if I was expecting close physical affection I might have missed the love offered by my teenage cousins, who managed to give me a familial hug without actually touching me with more than their hands. If I was expecting regular correspondence to demonstrate love then almost all of the friends I visited would have been discounted. It made me remember to pay attention, to look for the words, “I love you,” in all their different guises. Is it possible there are people in your life right now who love you without your realizing it? Are there friends and family members who don’t use the words you use, or do the things you would do to show love, but may be saying and doing other things you’re missing? As with most things in life, the key is to pay attention. You may end up learning a whole new language that way. Love, Jessica
It’s important to be clear when texting your mother that you have not just been mugged.
What a wonderful week in Seattle. I got to see six old friends and spend time with my aunt, five cousins, and a dear cousin-in-law. I treated myself to a solo night at a nice hotel with my book money then was treated like a queen by my friends and family. About to board the plane back to Boston and I’m really tired but so filled up, and so grateful. Here’s a pic of last night’s sunset at the Marina. I’ll be back to the shore of sunrises over the water soon. See you all when I get there.

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